Harry Potter and the Freaky Twists
by Petti and Bridge
Summary: Strange things are afoot! Harry wakes up one morning and realizes that he is surrounded by mysterious conspiracies... Please R&R Thanks!


Don't take any of this seriously ;)

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**The Chosen One and the Fairy**

Once upon a time, Harry Potter woke up with a strange feeling in his stomach.  
He knew that it could be the questionable piece of bread he ate the night before, but he felt that it had something to do with magic when his pee came out rainbow colored. When he realized this, he knew that he definitely had to write to Ron right away.

_Dear Ron,_ began Harry, _My pee is coming out rainbow. OH MY GOSH I'VE SPROUTED A TAIL HELP ME OH GOSH AH! I don't know if Voldemort has something to do with this! Write back ASAP!_

Harry quickly tied the letter to a squawking Hedwig and sent her on her way.  
As Hedwig flew up and away, Harry realized that it was time for breakfast, but he dreaded going downstairs to allow the Dursleys to see him in this state, so he sat back down on the bed to ponder what he should do.

"Aha!" he exclaimed. From under his bed, he dragged out a moldy looking piece of chocolate cake and dug in. While he was ravaging the decomposing slice of cake, he suddenly sprouted horns!

_Yet another sign of Voldemort's presence!_ Harry knew that he had to act fast.  
He prepared himself to fly out the window with the pair of wings that had just erupted from his back, when he heard a familiar, squeaky voice from behind him.

"Yes, Aunt Petunia, I won't forget to feed Dudley today," said Harry with a sigh.

"I'm not Aunt Petunia!" said the squeaky voice, "It's me, the tooth fairy!"

"Oh, it's you again," Harry said. "Stop bugging me now, muggle money has no use for me!"

"I've come to tell you about your condition," squeaked the tooth fairy, "It was I who did it!"

"...Dobby?"

"What are you blabbering about?" shouted the tooth fairy, "I said I was the one who did it!"

"Oh sorry, I thought...never mind," mumbled Harry. "Anyway, what for?"

"Ehehehe..." the tooth fairy looked down at her slippered feet and blushed.

"WHAT!" Harry yelled furiously, losing his temper so easily like a pmsing girl as he did in the 5th book.

"I WAS TRYING TO TURN YOU INTO A FAIRY AS WELL!" blurted the blushing butterfly maiden.

"Now why would you do tha..." Harry stopped suddenly as a thought occurred to him. "You don't...do you… fancy me?"

"Yes!" At this avowal, the tiny girl looked down at the floor and shuffled her feet with embarrassment.

"Oh...well then if that's the case..." Harry walked towards the little tiny fairy and lifted his foot to squish her.

"No wait!" she squeaked as squeakily as ever. "I'm sorry! I'll try to change you back!"

"Actually that's not what I was going to ask," said Harry shyly. "I sort of want to keep my pee rainbow colored. I feel special and hip."

"Oh? Then what?" inquired the fairy.

"I just told you, you little freak!" Harry glared at the tiny damsel. "Actually, I want these ugly wings and horns removed. Girls just don't like this kind of stuff," continued Harry in a nicer tone when he saw the fairy on the verge of tears.

"Oh but I can't do that," stuttered the fairy, "it's a package deal."

"Alright, alright, " sighed Harry, "Then change me back completely."

"Actually I'm afraid I cant do that," the fairy said with sly smile, "without a kiss."

"NO!" yelled Harry, "Besides, I might swallow you whole on accident."

"Ok then, if that's what you want," the fairy squealed with excitement. "I might as well make it permanent."

"Fine... fine..."grumbled Harry as he leaned down for the kiss.

But Harry was in for a surprise when his lips touched the little creature. There was a huge flash of light and the little fairy slowly began to transform...

"Hello Harry Potter sir!"

"OH MY GOSH IT'S DOBBY!" screamed Harry in horror, "I JUST KISSED DOBBY!"

Dobby flashed a sly toothless grin and disappeared into thin air. Harry was left shaking his fist at nothing. His annoyance toward Dobby had transformed into PURE HATRED.

To Be Continued…


End file.
